


Things we say and things we do

by iamleavingthisfandom



Series: Don't try this at home (unless you want to) [4]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Eddie wants that dick, Fluff, Fuck Stephen King, Fuck the Canon, M/M, Masturbation, Nobody is Dead, Phone Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, Richie Tozier is a service top, but Eddie also wants to take care of Richie, he has been nae-naed, im pretty sure you can read any of these fics as stand-alones tho, is it misleading to tag this now, now that the series kind of has a plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21713326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamleavingthisfandom/pseuds/iamleavingthisfandom
Summary: His phone pinged indicating a new message and he opened it while taking another sip of wine. Which promptly went down the wrong pipe, making him choke. He took his time coughing it up and taking a ragged breath before looking at his phone again.Richie had sent him a dick pic.More specifically, it was a picture of him holding his hard dick in his hand. The picture really went up to just below his shoulders, and he was obviously half-sitting. Not that Eddie cared about any of that, becauseholy fuck, Richie had sent him a dick pic and he was pretty obviously jacking off while they were texting.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Don't try this at home (unless you want to) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546576
Comments: 25
Kudos: 375





	1. Things we say

**Author's Note:**

> how's it hanging? ya boi is done with their papers, so I'm posting this before the finals hit me like a pile of bricks. Yes, I chose not to ignore the formal sign from the universe and I'm writing this instead of studying, can I get a "yay"? 
> 
> I’m gonna have more stuff in Richie’s POV, too, don’t worry. I have two other fics started for this series, and I have a kgjillion ideas, so there are def going to be more of these.  
> Thank you to whoever made that tumblr post about Eddie getting the D(ivorce), it was very inspiring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's set up for the second chapter, but it's not going to go exactly like the phone sex, because that would be rather boring.  
> Also if any of you complain about military time, istg.  
> 

He was moving in with just his suitcase, while boxes with a lot more stuff made their way across the country in trucks. Expected in 7-14 days.

He didn’t really mind; he had started packing even before his divorce went through, and as soon as it was finalized, he booked a flight for the next day, damn the expenses. He and Richie had talked about it extensively, trying to figure out what to do with Eddie’s job and their living arrangements, all kind of practical stuff like that, so he knew Richie was fine with him moving in whenever. He had freed up space in his closet even before Eddie came to visit the weekend before last, making his heart do a little swoop as he kissed Richie gently on the lips in gratitude. Richie was left blushing in a way he only did when Eddie confessed to him when they were washing sewer water off at the Quarry. It was kind of precious.

He shot Richie a text warning him anyway, right as he was pouring himself a glass of Merlot.

_Eddie, 20:31  
Got the d  
*divorce  
I’m going to urs tomorrow  
Plane lands at 3:30pm_

**Richie, 20:33  
8==D  
ur gonna get the D when u get here  
I’ll meet you at the airport**

_Eddie, 20:34  
R u going to use that dumbass sign again?_

**Richie, 20:34  
you love it**

_Eddie, 20:35  
No, I love you  
Also you’re wrong  
More like 8====D  
Or it better be_

**Richie, 20:36  
<3 aww love u 2 eds  
so flattered, btw  
is that the only reason ur moving in?**

_Eddie, 20:36  
No  
But it’s a big factor  
*excuse me, huge factor_

He grinned at his phone, sipping the wine. If it weren’t for Richie, he would have been really anxious about changing his life in such a big way. After what happened in Derry, he probably would have done so anyway; he definitely would have gotten a divorce, he might have even moved. Richie wasn’t the one he was doing all this for — even moving states was something he was doing for himself. He needed drastic changes; he needed a change of pace and a new start. Richie just… made it all easier. He made it easier by making dumb jokes that left Eddie snickering every time, by answering his phone at 4 a.m. by LA time when Eddie was freaking out about leaving his job, by helping him through anything he needed help with and never asking for anything in return. 

And Eddie was grateful for all those things, he really was. And sure, as Richie had recently informed him, leaving him surprised and confused, that was how a healthy loving relationship worked: supporting one’s partner was an important part of it, and it wasn’t about getting anything back, but rather about seeing them lead a life that made them happy. 

Wow, had Eddie missed out big over the years.

He wasn’t lying when he said he was grateful. He was profoundly grateful for everything Richie had done and everything he was still doing. Which just made him a bit frustrated, because he didn’t quite know how he could thank Richie. Not repay, really, because that wasn’t the right word, and he didn’t feel like he owed him anything (which, too, was thanks to Richie). But he wanted to make Richie feel as happy and supported as he made Eddie.

The thing was, Richie never seemed to ask him for much or want him to do anything out of the ordinary. Sure, he asked for stuff like phone sex while they were all the way across the country, or to jack off together while Skyping, but Eddie wanted all that, too, pretty desperately. And he readily admitted that he asked Richie for both of those as much as Richie asked him. 

So it just didn’t add up.

Of course, he knew that he was in a more vulnerable position at that point, uprooting his entire life, while Richie stayed put and the biggest changes for him were starting to work on his own material and Eddie moving in. And, of course, coming out publicly to everyone, but from what he had told Eddie that didn’t really affect him in a huge way. Which might have been bullshit that he said so that they didn’t have to talk about it on the phone, but Eddie wasn’t going to pry if Richie didn’t want to talk about it.

In any case, sure, he was in a more vulnerable position for the time being, but he really wanted to take care of Richie, too. And damn it, he was going to find out how he could do just that.

But maybe that would be easier in person. 

His phone pinged indicating a new message and he opened it while taking another sip of wine. Which promptly went down the wrong pipe, making him choke. He took his time coughing it up and taking a ragged breath before looking at his phone again. 

Richie had sent him a dick pic. 

More specifically, it was a picture of him holding his hard dick in his hand. The picture really went up to just below his shoulders, and he was obviously half-sitting. Not that Eddie cared about any of that, because _holy fuck, Richie had sent him a dick pic and he was pretty obviously jacking off while they were texting._

**Richie, 20:40  
aw, you’re the only one who’s making this factor huge**

_Eddie, 20:41  
Jesus FUCKING Christ_

**Richie, 20:41  
just Richie for u, honeybunny**

That made Eddie roll his eyes. Not that he had anything against Richie’s corny jokes or nicknames, but going from a dick pic to that was… well, it was Richie, so whatever. 

_Eddie, 20:42  
I was drinking wine  
You nearly made me choke_

**Richie, 20:42  
u don’t need wine for that  
;)**

Eddie felt his cheeks heat up. He didn’t have anything against blow jobs, of course. But so far he hadn’t blown Richie, and seeing as he was very blissfully repressed up until their return to Derry, he hadn’t blown anyone in his life. So he was a bit nervous.

He did want to, he really did, but they would need to work up to that. He was sure Richie wouldn’t mind, selfless, adoring Richie who literally went with anything Eddie had suggested or wanted or didn’t want so far. 

_Eddie, 20:44  
Can you talk now?  
You really can’t send pics like this if you can’t_

**Richie, 20:45  
anything for the love of my life<3**

_Eddie, 20:45  
Give me 2 minutes_

With that, he put the glass on the kitchen counter and rushed to the bedroom, kicking off his jeans as fast as humanly possible. Once he was in bed and had taken lube and wet wipes out of the nightstand drawer, he dialed Richie’s number.

He answered instantly.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” he could practically hear Richie’s smirk and chuckled.

“Don’t ‘hot stuff’ me, you’re the one who sent me the hottest dick pic I’ve ever gotten.”

“Have you gotten many other dick pics?” 

“No, but that just means that the superlative definitely applies.” Eddie poured some lube into his hand and took his somewhat interested dick in hand, stroking slowly.

“Aw, I’m flattered. So how was your day?” 

“Can we discuss that later? I’m horny.”

“You’re always horny.” Despite the fact that he was, indeed, really horny, hearing Richie laugh made him smile and close his eyes in affection.

“Yeah, well, whose fault is that?”

“Can’t see it as a bad thing.”

“Me neither, but right now I really need you to tell me how you’re going to destroy me with your monster dick as soon as I move in,” he counted Richie’s sharp inhale as a point in his favor.

“You want to hear how I’m going to take you home right from the airport and fuck you on the nearest horizontal surface? How I’m going to have to open you up again, because we haven’t seen each other in over a week, so you can bet I’m going to take my sweet time, draw it out until you get all huffy and impatient,” it was just getting promising. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“I do not get huffy,” he heard a chuckle from the other end of the line.

“You keep telling yourself that.”

“Ri-ich,” he whined. So maybe he got to know that when he started whining, unless Richie wanted to make him beg (or, really, unless Eddie asked him to make him beg, because so far that was how that worked), he was ready to give him anything he asked for. And maybe sometimes he took advantage of that. So sue him. 

“Okay, okay, sweetheart,” Eddie felt warm at the pet name and let his eyes drift closed. “What do you want me to talk about?”

“Tell me what we’ll do when I get to your place tomorrow.”

“Alright. I’ll take you to the bedroom, you know how comfy my bed is by now,” Eddie hummed in confirmation. “I’ll take my time undressing you. I know you always get too eager and want to jump right into it, but I like taking my time with you. God, I’ll leave so many hickeys on you, you don’t even know,” Eddie’s breath caught. 

He wasn’t lying when he said he felt great about being all marked up; he’d never really gotten hickeys before Richie, but now he did. A lot. Apart from the fact that he really liked it when Richie sucked on his neck, he felt hot at the idea that he wanted to mark Eddie up. It kind of felt like Richie was showing off that yeah, he got him. 

And he did, of course. Eddie loved leaving hickeys on Richie, too, for that exact reason, and maybe he was projecting a bit. What he liked about it was not so much staking his claim on Richie (although that had its own appeal), because he was his own person, after all, but more so showing off that he could. That Richie wanted him to, that he, too, wanted to show off that they had great fucking time, well, fucking. 

And to him it sure felt kind of nice to walk around with the evidence of a happy and horny relationship on his neck, which he did not hide at all when going about everyday life outside of work. Grocery shopping and such got all sorts of fun.

Plus, Myra absolutely freaked out when she saw them, and that was definitely a plus. 

“You better mark me the fuck up,” he commented in response, smiling to himself.

“Oh, I will. You’ll look like you’ve been turned into a blueberry once I’m done with you,” Eddie snorted. 

“Hot. Can we please get back on track and save Charlie and the Chocolate Factory references for later?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely. I’ll mark you up so that everyone knows how much you love it, how good I fuck you. Looking at you, how would anyone ever guess how hungry you always are for it? But I think you want more than love bites, isn’t that right, Eds?”

“Yeah,” Eddie let out, biting his lip. “Want more, I want you to fuck me so badly,” he started stroking himself faster.

“That’s what I thought. I’ll take my time, though, as I always do. Stretch you out nice and slow, until you can’t keep still. You know how hot it is to see you like that?”

“All I know is you’re such a tease,” Eddie was breathing heavily, and Richie was getting there, too. “You always try and draw it out so damn much when I’m trying to get on your dick,” Richie let out a laugh.

“That’s because you look so pretty, all flushed and desperate. I love seeing you like that. Does it feel good when I just keep you there, when I keep going slow and make it last?” Eddie was getting all sorts of worked up. Sure, that was kind of the point of the entire exercise, but he was also pretty close now.

“Yeah, it feels so good, Rich, fuck,” he started bucking his hips into his own grip. “I love it when you keep me on the edge. It’s frustrating, but it’s so fucking good. I’m gonna—”

“You gonna come for me?” Richie sounded like he was very nearly gone, too.

“Yeah, just keep talking, please.”

“You know what I want to do? I want to eat you out. Just fuck you with my tongue until you’re shaking and bunching up the sheets. I want to make you come on just my tongue, do you think you can do that?” Eddie’s answer to that was a soft moan as he came onto his stomach and his chest. Richie groaned in response, waiting until Eddie’s sound had stopped and all he let out were loud exhales. “Oh fuck, baby, that was hot.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie let out. He took a couple of breaths and realized Richie might want a bit of help himself. “Yeah, god, I want you to eat me out good. How have we not done that properly yet? You’re so good with your tongue, I’m pretty sure I’ll be gone fast. You know what else I want? I want you to pin my hands to the bed. You’re fucking strong, and your biceps? Damn illegal. We’re forty, how are you able to just hold me down and why do I find it so hot?” okay, rambling might not have been the best idea, but Richie’s fast panting suggested he wasn’t complaining. “I want you to pin me to the bed and rail me, yeah? You’re good at fucking the daylights out of me, and I want you to—” he didn’t really get to finish his thought, seeing as he was interrupted by Richie’s drawn-out grunt, followed by calming breaths.

“Ugh, I can’t wait for you to get here.” Eddie’s heart fluttered at that. 

“Yeah, me neither. I like seeing you first thing in the morning.”

“Aw, Eds, do you get soft after you’ve come?” Eddie looked down at himself and all but giggled.

“Well, technically, yeah.” Richie laughed in response.

“Ah, Eds gets off a good one!” 

“Seriously, though. No yogurt with granola can compare to your pancakes,” he smiled dreamily, stretching the hand that wasn’t holding the cell phone to his ear. On its way back, he grabbed the wet wipes, opening the pack to clean up. 

“I’ll make you pancakes every day, sweetcheeks, just say the word.” Eddie cooed in response. 

“How did I ever get so lucky?” 

“I love you so much,” was Richie’s response. Eddie smiled warmly.

“I love you, too. Now we can talk about our respective days and/or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”

“Gladly. How bullshit was it when Veruca just climbed into the squirrel pen? She really should have known there were too many of them. Chocolate river, I get, bubblegum, unfortunate, but understandable, the teleportation device, who wouldn’t want to try that out? But the squirrel thing? Come on.” Eddie rolled his eyes, but laughed nonetheless.

“Not a pen, just a room. Pens are for pigs.”

“You’re right, you’re right. How was your day?”

“Not too bad, not too bad. I don’t have to rush anywhere in the morning now, so I got to go for a nice run, got some chai latte. I swear, you’ve got me addicted to that shit now.”

“I would love to apologize for that. If only I were sorry, I would.” He snorted. 

“Saw Myra when we were finalizing the documents. She’s still not over the fact that I showed up with hickeys Tuesday. At least the news articles haven’t gotten to her yet.”

“Yeah, how lucky that they don’t know your name and you have no social media presence. But wait a few days, they probably will.” Eddie groaned.

“I hope not. That would be a scene,” he frowned just thinking about it. “What about you?”

“Same old, same old. Just cooped up here trying to write my own material except for when I have to go do networking and such. You know how overrated working hard is?”

“You don’t mean that,” Eddie gently reminded him. Richie sighed in response.

“I don’t. It’s rewarding to get to write my own stuff again and all that shit.”

“And I’m really proud of you for doing that.” There were a few seconds of silence from Richie.

“I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t moving in tomorrow,” his tone was soft and vulnerable, and Eddie could feel his heart pause for a moment. “I really need you here.”

“Yeah, me, too. It’s just another 23 hours, yeah? We can make it.”

“I don’t know, Eds, I’m like kind of about to die from lack of sweet, sweet Vitamin E,” he just had to fall in love with a comedian, huh? He wouldn’t change a thing, though.

“Well, I’m in dire need of Vitamin D and you don’t hear me complaining,” he bit his lip to hold in a chuckle, hearing Richie laugh out loud.

“God, I miss you. But you do complain, you literally complain about that all the time.”

“Okay, maybe, but can you really blame me? You’re such a catch. _And_ you have a stellar dick.”

“Oh, so the D wasn’t just a stand-in for my dick?”

“No, it’s also your name, so it checks out.”

“When have you _ever_ called me Dick?”

“Never, but I might start now. You never know.”

“Yeah, but then how will I know if you’re talking to me and being nice or to my dick and being horny?”

“It is literally always both, but I hear you.” He smiled. He couldn’t wait for these 23 hours to be over. He checked the time. “Alright, I have to go now, because I still want to go for a run, and I have to get up early for the plane.”

“Roger that,” Eddie hadn’t quite familiarized himself with each of Richie’s voices yet, but he was pretty certain this one was what he called “the space pilot,” even if the official name was something very different. Eddie couldn’t remember for now, but he would learn it. He would learn every single one of Richie’s voices with time.

He did end up going for a run, and if afterwards he sent Richie a bathroom selfie while still covered in sweat, then that was just retaliation for the dick pic, really. Even if Richie more than made up for with the phone sex. He got an eloquent “nut” in response and figured, judging by the time on the clock, that he was either out networking or talking to his agent. 

While falling asleep, he just thought about Richie hugging him from behind, and if that was incredibly cheesy, well. He was allowed to be cheesy, he was in love head over heels. And he really needed the next day to fly by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comment could be the one that gives me enough validation to further ignore studying for finals and choose to write porn instead, so don't hesitate to say things <3  
> If you want, come tell me your requests or whatever on tumblr: iamleavingthisfandom.tumblr.com. dms are open, asks are open, talk to me. Also I'm trying to post and repost shit now!
> 
> Thanks for reading, you beautiful people! Stay tuned for more sexytimes


	2. Things we do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy y'all. good news: I'm not dead. My depressive episode and my finals and some other shit decided to fuck me all at the same time, and I don’t even like bottoming, so as you can imagine, I am straight-up not having a good time rn. It got better bc I got to write a blowjob, but still, not great
> 
> They both have praise kink, don't @ me

The flight the next day was okay. He wasn’t the biggest fan of five-and-a-half-hour flights, but he focused on the fact that he would see Richie soon, and that made it alright.

Richie did, in fact, use the spaghetti sign again, but now there was a huge heart drawn over it in black sharpie. Eddie just shook his head and hugged him once he was close enough.

“The sign is even cheesier than last time,” he chuckled.

“I felt like this one expressed my feelings better,” when Eddie looked up, Richie was wearing a goofy grin, and Eddie couldn’t help reaching up for a quick peck on the lips. Of course, that also required Richie to bend down, but apparently, he decided not to be difficult this time around.

“I can also stick some parmesan on the sign for next time. For additional cheese,” Richie was all too happy about that idea, so Eddie slapped him on the shoulder lightly with a smile.

“There won’t be a next time, because I am never leaving again. You can’t get rid of me now, Tozier.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Richie was looking at him like he was his entire world, and Eddie couldn’t quite express or handle all he was feeling, so he put a hand on his cheek and brought him down into another kiss, soft and gentle.

It was over far too soon. But they had better things to do than making out in the airport lobby.

“Take me home now,” even saying these words delighted him to no end. And Richie’s smile at that lit up his entire world. 

He followed Richie to the car, easily putting the suitcase in the trunk and taking the passenger seat.

“So,” he began as he got settled and Richie pulled out of the parking spot, “what’s the plan for today?”

“What do you mean?” Richie gave him a side glance. Okay, so perhaps the car wasn’t the best place to have the entire conversation about what _Richie_ wanted, Eddie conceded. So he chose an inconspicuous course of action for the time being.

“Well, do you have anything you have to do today? Meeting with your agent? Networking? Writing however many pages of new material?” he saw Richie smile as he shook his head.

“No, I’ve cleared my entire day for you, Eddie, baby,” fuck, why did that of all things make his heart flutter? 

Not wanting to look at him directly for fear of looking like an idiot in love, he reached out with his hand to hold Richie’s; 9 and 3 o’clock technique be damned. He cleared his throat as quietly as he could.

“Good,” he paused for a moment. “So we can fuck on the nearest vaguely horizontal surface and then order Italian.”

Richie chuckled and squeezed his hand, grinning.

“Aw, you’re not even going to ask me how my week was first, Eds? Am I just a piece of meat to you?”

“I’ve been listening to you talk about your week every day. You haven’t fucked me in ten days. You do the math.”

“Fair enough,” Richie smiled, looking at Eddie for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road.

The ride was over even faster than the last time Eddie was there, and this time Richie remembered to take the suitcase out of the car. Eddie really wouldn’t have, because all he could think about was getting in Richie’s lap as soon as possible.

Once they made it to Richie’s _(well, theirs now — the thought made him grin)_ flat, Eddie made him abandon the suitcase next to the door and pulled him to the couch.

“Not going to unpack first?” He rolled his eyes at Richie’s teasing. He pushed down on Richie’s shoulders, making him sit, and climbed into his lap right away. His next move was to tangle his hands in Richie’s hair and kiss him deeply. Humming into the kiss, Richie put his hands on the small of his back to hold him close. Fuck, did he miss his lips and hands. His everything, really. 

Eddie was about to lose himself in the kiss when he remembered that he wanted to find out how he could best take care of Richie. He thought he should act on it before they could get too carried away. Heavy makeout sessions had a tendency to leave them both a bit disoriented and giddy. Maybe it was the years of pining, maybe it was actually getting to enjoy kissing someone in a way neither had before — whatever it was, it would likely erase most of Eddie’s thoughts, so he pulled away quickly, grinning at Richie’s attempt to chase his lips. When he saw his eyes open, he spoke.

“What do you want to do today?”

“Whatever you want, baby,” Richie smiled, and Eddie frowned a little.

“No, Rich, I want to make you happy.” Richie looked at him, confused.

“You do, you’ve literally made me the happiest I’ve been my entire life,” as much as Eddie enjoyed the sentiment that made him smile almost shyly, he wasn’t about to back down.

“No, I mean… You always take care of me, you know? We do whatever _I_ want to do. And I want to know what _you_ want to do.” Now Richie seemed to get the gist. He bit down on his lip, drawing Eddie’s eyes there. But as much as Eddie wanted to kiss it better, he was determined to get his answer.

“Okay, well. I like taking care of you.”

“Come on, give me something to work with here,” he was getting kind of frustrated, but Richie started talking again, effectively silencing him.

“No, I mean, I _like_ taking care of you. It gets me going to see you all hot and bothered and fucked better than you’ve ever been.” His grin almost made Eddie rolls his eyes. But well, he wasn’t wrong, and Eddie certainly wasn’t going to argue with that. He tugged lightly on Richie’s hair in his grip. Richie’s eyes fell closed.

“So you like knowing that you fuck me good?” he purposefully lowered his voice, his breath hitting Richie’s lips as he spoke. Richie opened his eyes again and licked his bottom lip unconsciously, nodding. “You like seeing me desperate for you, feeling me scratch your back up while you fuck into me, because I can’t help it? Hearing me beg? Would you like me to tell you how good it feels to get wrecked by you?”

Richie let out a long groan and kissed Eddie hungrily, which was pretty much an answer by itself. He lapped at his tongue, making Eddie dizzy with desire, and when they broke the kiss, there was a string of saliva between them. Which should have been gross, but somehow it just turned Eddie on even more. He wasn’t expecting a verbal reply at that point, but Richie gave him one anyway.

“Yeah, I’d love all of that. Want you to tell me how good I make you feel.” Eddie grinned. Now, that he could work with. “I’d also love to christen the apartment now that you’re officially moved in.”

“We’ve already fucked in here. Eleven times last weekend. It’s been christened.”

“No, we’ve fucked in the bedroom. We still have plenty of rooms we’ve ignored entirely, and that is a tragedy.”

“So what exactly are you proposing?” Richie hummed in response.

“I really want to fuck you right here on the couch.” Eddie considered it. Over the past few weeks he found it easier to cope with germs and messes. It still wasn’t perfect and he had a bit of trouble coming to terms with some things, namely _getting lube and sweat all over the couch_ , but he was doing a lot better. Especially when the mess in question was connected to Richie in some way.

Plus, he really wanted Richie to fuck his brains out and he did not want to move.

“Yeah, okay, let’s do that,” as he smiled, Richie let out a victorious “whoop-whoop” and tugged them to fall sideways to the couch, making Eddie laugh. He then clumsily tried to roll them so that Eddie was under him, while Eddie did his best to scoot over and help him in that undertaking. It took them a little maneuvering and a few elbows in the ribs, but eventually, Eddie ended up under Richie on the couch.

He smiled up at him, receiving a warm smile in return, before frowning and swearing quietly.

“What?” Richie asked, clearly concerned. Eddie shook his head.

“We don’t have lube,” he complained. The answering grin had him raise his eyebrows quizzically, until Richie reached under the couch and pulled out a recently opened bottle of lube.

“Way ahead of you.”

“Did you plan this?” Eddie was amused more than anything else and Richie didn’t seem embarrassed by the question in the slightest.

“I just figured it might come in handy, what with how much you always want to get fucked. Thought you might enjoy a change of setting,” now that made Eddie snort.

“Is there anything to stop the lube from getting on the couch?” Richie put the lube down, thought for a moment, and then took off his short-sleeved button-up, which left him in his undershirt. He put it over the back of the couch for the time being.

“Now there is.” 

The shirt was one of what Eddie affectionately called ‘ugly shirts’ from Richie’s closet. Those included everything from Hawaiian shirts to unflattering colors to shirts Eddie took personal offence to _(which he often did after seeing Richie’s “straight” comedy routines from past shows, performed in those shirts)_. The current shirt was the second kind, a mustard one that did nothing for Richie. So he wouldn’t mind ruining it, but he knew Richie was weirdly attached to some of them.

“Seriously?” Eddie looked from Richie’s face to the shirt and back to Richie. The latter shrugged.

“I am nothing if not a gentleman. Now shall we?” he gestured vaguely at Eddie, but somehow he still understood that that was an invitation for him to get naked. Eddie unbuttoned his pants, raising his hips to let Richie slip them off.

“I’m not taking my T-shirt off, though,” he insisted. “I don’t want to get sweat all over the couch.” Richie chuckled in response.

“That’s fine by me, baby,” he took off his own jeans and then went to take off Eddie’s boxers. He even slipped his fingers under the elastic band, but instead of pulling them off, he leaned down to run his lips over the length of Eddie’s already pretty interested dick.

Eddie would argue that the only reason he made a short moaning sound was that he was taken by surprise, but hey, he wasn’t lying when he said that Richie’s mouth was good for many things other than just telling jokes.

Richie gave him a happy grin, though, so maybe he didn’t need to argue. He was about to tell him to get on with it, but then there was suction on the tip through the cloth of his boxers and he forgot to say anything. His hands made their way into Richie’s hair almost involuntarily, and as he pulled on it for all of two seconds, there was a vibration of lips against his cock, followed by a moan. Maybe it happened the other way around; it was kind of difficult for him to reconstruct the sequence of events at the moment.

Richie moved up a bit, leaving wet kisses and grazing his teeth against the skin of his lower abdomen, all the while working Eddie’s boxers down his legs and off entirely. He pulled away to lay the shirt under his hips and place Eddie’s knees on his shoulders before giving him a grin.

“See? A gentleman.” Eddie rolled his eyes in response.

“You’re making me swoon,” his teasing was met with lips sucking a mark into his inner thigh. Now that he didn’t really have easy access to Richie’s hair, he put his hands on the couch, one on the back and one down by his hips. It was always weird, he never quite knew what to do with his hands when they were like this. At least when he was tied up, he didn’t have to worry about that.

As Richie marked his thighs up closer to his crotch, though, that stopped being a problem in Eddie’s mind. In fact, his concerns just sort of melted away, and all that remained was the feeling of Richie’s lips sucking on his skin, making him keen into the touch, and his soft grip on Eddie’s hips. He felt himself relax and, as per Richie’s request, decided to start running his mouth.

“I love it when you mark me up. My neck, for sure, but mostly my thighs — I just have to look down at them to see all the hickeys, I don’t even need a mirror. You know I sometimes get off while looking at them and remembering the last time we fucked?” Richie made a noise into his skin, pulling away.

“Fuck, Eds, that’s so hot. You ever filmed that?” Eddie snorted.

“First, no. Second, why would you need me to film that if we’re going to be living together now? And third, no,” there was a snicker into his skin where Richie bit on it lightly.

“Force of habit,” Richie commented, softly kissing the same spot. “Yeah, now I can just watch you get off while looking at them.”

“Now you better get me off yourself or else I will hide every ugly shirt you own.”

“Well, that wouldn’t be great for my image. ‘Famous comedian found wandering around town topless looking for Hawaiian shirts,’ can you imagine?”

“Okay, I know for a fact that you have at least two nice shirts.”

“Yeah, but I’m not going to wear them,” at Eddie’s chuckle, Richie went back to leaving hickeys up his thighs.

He closed his eyes and hummed as he felt kisses travel up his legs. His hum shortly turned into a quiet gasp as he felt Richie suck on his balls.

“A little warning next time,” he complained, not really meaning it. He heard Richie chuckle in response.

“But then I wouldn’t get to hear the sweet noises you make.” Richie followed it by licking all the way to the tip of his dick and then sitting up and away, too far from his cock for Eddie’s liking. He looked up with a raised eyebrow and saw Richie smile.

“Don’t worry, sweetcakes, just getting lube,” he did, indeed, reach for the bottle on the couch, and Eddie rejoiced.

“No way, you’re not going to be a tease this time?”

“What can I say, I missed the cute face you make when you come,” Eddie had to huff at that.

“I’m not cute.”

“Cute, cute, cute,” Richie laughed. “But also hot, sexy, beautiful, handsome,” he continued while pouring lube on his fingers, very nearly making Eddie blush at the praise.

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Eddie bit his lip to stop himself from smiling, but the corners of his mouth still curled up, which didn’t escape Richie’s notice.

“Oh, I’m not done.” He brought his fingers to Eddie’s entrance, circling it and spreading lube as Eddie forgot how to form words. “Absolutely fucking gorgeous,” he pushed in one of his fingers, and any objections Eddie might have had to the praise (which, he had to admit, were half-hearted) disappeared, “and downright ravishing.”

“Ravishing?” Eddie raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“Yeah, ravishing.” Richie started moving his finger in and out. “Like, have you seen yourself? We’re forty, and you have _abs_ , what the fuck, Eds? And your legs? Should be damn illegal. Your perfectly kissable lips? Stunning, baby,” he pulled his finger out to quickly add another and push back into Eddie, who was breathing heavier already.

“You know, I love you running your mouth all the time, but I thought I was supposed to tell you how good it feels.” Despite his light embarrassment at all the praise (he just wasn’t used to it), he loved hearing it all from Richie. But he did want to make him happy, too, and that was what they had agreed on.

“Well, I’m all ears, honeybun.” Eddie rolled his eyes with a chuckle. Richie leaned over him to mouth at his neck, giving him the perfect opportunity to bury his hands in the dark hair in front of him and start talking.

“God, I missed your fingers so much. I can’t finger myself anywhere near as good, how the fuck do you even do that?” He sighed as Richie’s fingers grazed his sweet spot that he could rarely get himself. “Your fingers are huge, they stretch me out for your dick so well.”

He got a low moan as a response, sending vibrations through him, followed by a bite. That was a good reaction, so he continued, now tugging on Richie’s hair a bit.

“I missed your dick a lot, too. I just want it inside me all the time, I love feeling full of you. I know we fuck for hours on end anyway, but I don’t want you to ever pull out. Maybe we should get one of those toys shaped exactly like your dick so that I can keep it inside all the time.”

“Fucking hell, Eds,” Richie’s forehead was pressed against his shoulder as he felt heavy breaths hit his skin.

“Keep at it if you want me to talk more,” Richie started moving his fingers faster, twisting them. Now Eddie had a hard time thinking back to what he was saying before. “Yeah, that’s better, that’s—”

He lost his train of thought as Richie rubbed his fingers against the good spot with just enough pressure to shut him up.

“That’s…?” Richie teased. Well, Eddie was the one to suggest that he talk through the entire thing, and he wasn’t about to back down.

“That’s good,” he closed his eyes, swallowing and letting his hands drift down to Richie’s shoulders. “Feels good. How do you always manage to drive me out of my mind?”

“You’re just really sensitive all over,” Richie chuckled. 

“Whatever,” he wasn’t wrong, but Eddie was not about to go into that. “It still feels great. I could come just on your fingers.”

He had a feeling he would regret saying that. But maybe not too much, since even if Richie decided to test this theory, Eddie would still get him to fuck him into next week, probably several times, that same day.

“Really?” Richie sounded interested. He sucked a hickey into Eddie’s clavicle while waiting for an answer.

“Don’t get any ideas.”

“Oh, I think I’ve already gotten one,” he could hear a smirk in Richie’s voice, but he couldn’t be mad about it when Richie pulled his fingers out and pushed back in with three, making him keen.

“Fucking finally,” he took a breath before continuing. “I love the stretch,” he was becoming less coherent as time went on. He was pretty sure Richie didn’t care about his coherency, though.

As he felt three fingers stretch him out even more, he let out a long groan and gripped Richie’s shoulders tight. He then felt Richie pull up a bit. Cool air hit his skin, making him open his eyes. Richie was watching him intently as he kept talking.

“Fuck, Rich, _fuck_ , just like that, your fingers feel so good,” he was pretty much babbling at that point, but Richie didn’t seem to mind at all, if his gaze was anything to go by. He looked like he could eat Eddie alive. Somehow that didn’t register as a bad thing.

Looking Richie in the eyes made everything so much more intimate and so much more intense. It made him feel on display, like Richie could see every last part of him, and that kind of made him feel like he was floating. 

Eddie really couldn’t help digging his nails into Richie’s back as he moved his hips to bear down on his fingers. He would love to say that he scratched Richie’s back because of the reaction the suggestion got him earlier, but the truth was, it was all him. He needed something to ground himself. The scratching did get a reaction, though: Richie moved his fingers faster, leaving Eddie to gasp a bit before he launched into another monologue.

“This feels fucking amazing, just don’t stop, okay, please?” somehow it came out as a question.

“Don’t worry,” Richie answered before going to bite at Eddie’s collarbones again. His mouth moved down, though, and Eddie didn’t quite get why, his mind too focused on the fingers moving inside him.

“Rich, what are you—” he was interrupted by Richie’s lips closing around his cock and suckling softly at the head. He let out a moan. “Oh fuck, that feels so good, that’s it. You’re good with your mouth, fuck, how are you so good?” He didn’t really want an answer to his question, and Richie didn’t give him one. He just slid further down his cock, enveloping Eddie in wet heat, all the while fucking him with his fingers. Eddie started moving his hips in aborted little jerks despite himself. He couldn’t help it, it felt fucking _great_ and he was close.

He didn’t even notice his hands go into Richie’s hair again and pull, but there was a moan that went from Richie’s throat right to his dick, and that put him right on the edge.

He only got to say, “I’m going to come,” before Richie pressed his fingers up and deep into him, and he was gone, spilling into Richie’s mouth.

Richie continued to fuck his fingers into Eddie as he was coming down from the high, making him whimper at the oversensitivity.

“Rich,” he all but whined. That finally made him come up and cup Eddie’s cheek with his clean hand, leaving wet kisses all along his jaw.

“Sorry, you were making such pretty noises that I got carried away.” Eddie barely even registered the sounds he made towards the end, but as long as Richie liked them, it didn’t really matter. 

He hummed as Richie settled on his side, his arm around Eddie’s stomach, their legs intertwined. Eddie moved to turn to face him, only to rub up against Richie’s hard dick. Oh, right.

His eyes shot open as he looked at Richie, biting his lip and deciding how to best bring it up. Richie seemed to sense a hesitation and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

“We can wait until you’re less sensitive, it’s not a big deal,” Eddie shook his head at that.

“No, that’s not— I want to suck you off,” that got Richie’s attention. He cleared his throat.

“Are you sure? We haven’t done that before.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I want to try at least, okay?” Richie nodded, and Eddie slipped out from under his arm.

He slid off the couch and kneeled in front of Richie, his fingers slipping under the elastic band of Richie’ boxers after he sat up. He felt a swell of pride at Richie’s hitched breath, and tugged the boxers down as Richie lifted his hips to slide them off more easily. As he went to sit down, however…

“No, wait,” Eddie interrupted, leaving Richie in a downright comical position with his ass hovering just above the couch as he tried to support himself with his arms, eyebrows practically plastered to his hairline. Eddie moved the button-up to rest under Richie’s hips and pinned him down, hearing a sigh of relief, before tugging his boxers off all the way.

He stared for a moment.

He knew Richie had a big dick. Felt it every time they fucked and loved it, really. But he had certain reservations about it when it came to blowing Richie. He wanted to, don’t get him wrong, but from this angle Richie’s _huge, and bigger still because he was hard, and Eddie didn’t think he ever saw it up close like this and holy shit was it big,_ dick was pretty intimidating. So forgive him for taking some time to collect his thoughts.

He felt a hand in his hair and looked up at Richie, who was biting his lip as he stroked his hair gently.

“You don’t have to do this, you know? We won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with,” Eddie nodded. Instead of answering, though, he leaned in and licked a wide stripe from the root of Richie’s cock to the tip. He heard quiet swearing in response as the grip in his hair tightened for a moment. He grinned to himself. It was nice to be able to take Richie by surprise like that; he was definitely enjoying feeling in control. Oh, he absolutely loved being at Richie’s mercy, but having power like this over him was pretty great, too.

Still apprehensive about the entire enormous-fucking-dick situation when he hadn’t as much as practiced on a dildo (he tried one time on a cucumber, _he knew that was dumb, whatever_ , and it… did not go well at all), Eddie licked carefully at the tip, just collecting a drop of pre-cum there. He didn’t quite hate it as much as he thought he would. He supposed that was good.

He was building himself up to it, leaving wet kisses down the side of Richie’s cock as he heard quiet breaths above him. He very nearly lost himself in it, just the feeling and taste of skin on his lips and tongue as he was working up to more, but a soft gasp as he sucked just a little harder on one of the kisses made him look up. Richie was watching him with that look in his eyes, the one he got when they first told each other of their feelings, the one he had when Eddie woke up in the morning to find him staring. It was the adoring awed look, the “I can’t quite believe you’re here with me” look, and it made Eddie’s knees go weak every time.

But now he was the one who wanted to make Richie’s knees go weak, as much as he could. So he just grinned in response, peppering a small line of kisses as he came up to the tip of Richie’s dick again. As he closed his mouth around it, Richie’s breath hitched again and he bit on his lip. Eddie very carefully let his jaw go slack and opened it wide, sliding down just a little bit. There was no answer from Richie, so he pulled off.

“You know, it would help if you gave me some indication of whether it’s good or what I should do differently. It’s not like I’m used to doing this,” he put both of his hands on Richie’s thighs.

“Yeah, sorry,” Richie let out a long breath. “I just got a bit lost in how fucking gorgeous you look down there,” Eddie very nearly keened at the praise, but instead just shot Richie a smile. He felt Richie’s fingers comb through his hair softly. “It’s all great.”

Satisfied with the answer, Eddie got back to it. He stroked his thumbs in soft circles on Richie’s thighs and slowly sank down his dick, drawing it out into probably the longest anyone had ever taken to get into a blowjob ever. Richie pretty much immediately started spilling comments, so, he supposed, he didn’t mind.

“Fuck, Eds, you look so hot like this. I mean, I’ve pictured you with your lips stretched around my dick about a million times, and honestly? My imagination has nothing on you, this is so much better. You just look… pretty like this.” Eddie took that moment to look up at Richie, seeing him nearly choke after that. “Shit, baby, you really can’t look at me like that when you’re sucking my dick, or I’m not going to last.”

Well, that was bullshit, Richie sure looked at him exactly like that when he was blowing him. But yeah, Eddie knew from experience where he was coming from. That didn’t stop him from raising his eyebrow as he took another slow inch in his mouth. He could almost feel Richie’s fingers tense up in his hair.

“Doing so good, love,” if it weren’t for the dick practically splitting his mouth open _(his jaw was so going to be killing him after this),_ Eddie would have smiled. But as it was, he just pulled up a bit to start sinking down again, now a little faster. He was nowhere near the root of Richie’s cock when it hit the back of his tongue, making him gag a bit. He pulled up fast, and Richie hummed. “Use your hand on the rest, it’s okay,” his voice already sounded lower than usual.

Eddie knew to follow that. There was no way he was going into deepthroating right away. He heard there was some way to train one’s gag reflex. He would have to look into that, because he was already very much enjoying the way Richie reacted, and they were only just starting out. He could get used to the weight on his tongue, too; it wasn’t unpleasant in any way. It was just… new. Interesting, though.

He focused on moving up and down as much as he could, working the rest with his hand in the same rhythm, getting into it. Richie’s hand was in his hair, just grounding him, not directing his movements in any way. Which he thought would be pretty hot, but maybe that was a conversation for another time. After a bit, Richie started talking again.

“Yeah, just like that, you’re doing great. Taking it so well. Have I ever told you you have dick-sucking lips? Because you do,” Eddie couldn’t help his chuckle at that. “Fuck,” Richie breathed out as his hand on Eddie’s head twitched. He knew very well what caused that reaction, but still looked up with a mischievous expression. Richie was watching him with rapt attention and groaned shortly as their eyes met. “Eddie, baby, I’m going to come if you keep looking at me like that.”

The only thing he could think to do was to pick up the pace of his movements. He was too focused on keeping his teeth away to keep looking up, but he glanced up as he felt Richie’s hand tense in his hair after a bit of him working Richie’s cock.

“Eds, I’m close,” Richie sounded breathless, and Eddie pulled off, smiling. He stroked his hand faster.

“Are you going to come for me?” The only response was a grunt and Richie finally letting go and pushing his hips into Eddie’s grip. “Good. I liked sucking your dick, by the way. At some point I want to just sit there while you work and hold it in my mouth. Yeah, we should definitely do cock warming sometime, and then you can fuck my face. Or maybe I should tease you for an hour or so instead, give you a taste of your own medicine.”

“Fuck,” Richie pushed his hips up and came onto Eddie’s chest and neck. He breathed heavily and pushed his glasses up with the hand that had been in Eddie’s hair, only now wiping the lube from his other hand on the shirt under him. Eddie was surprised to find that he was barely even grossed out by that, or by being covered in Richie’s cum, for that matter. Intrigued, he swirled one of his fingers in it and sucked it off. He didn’t really mind the taste. That was interesting.

It got even more interesting as he heard a groan from Richie and looked up, smirking.

“Eddie, baby, you can’t do shit like that when I only just came, my dick can’t take it.”

“You’ll live.” Eddie got up off his knees, stretching.

“Is that your official diagnosis, Dr Kaspbrak?” Richie watched him with a grin.

“Indeed. But I’m still going to prescribe you a shower. Just so that I don’t kill you in the next five minutes for staying gross like this,” Richie laughed.

“In that case, we better go. I’d hate to deprive you of my gorgeous dick and amazing mouth,” he stood up from the couch, and Eddie took that as an opportunity to tug him towards the bathroom.

“Oh, and I’m fully expecting some sort of gratitude for sucking your dick.” He saw Richie look down and beam at the sight of his hard-on.

“That got you worked up, huh?”

“Yes,” Eddie wasn’t about to deny it. “Now let’s go so that you can get me off again or I will jerk off in there by myself.”

“How can I refuse such an enticing offer?” Richie followed Eddie into the bathroom with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y'all like it? Do y'all have requests? Have any favourite quotes? Leave a comment and make one (1) dumbass writer happy. Damn, talk about how your day was for all I care, I'll be happy with that, too.  
> Also, I have a few more ideas for this series, and for the next installment I want to go festive. So talk to me, I'm a bit torn between Christmas, New Years, and just snowed-in-on-a-winter-vacation one. Idk how fast I will write these, so vote here or talk to me on tumblr: iamleavingthisfandom.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks for reading, you beautiful people!


End file.
